A scouser walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just hate drawing benefits. I'd really rather have a job.'
The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.You'll have to drive around in his 2010 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job assignment, to satisfy her sexual urges, as the daughter is in her mid-20s and has a rather strong sex drive.A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is £200,000 a year.'
The scouser says 'You're bullshittin me!'
The social worker answered 'Well you started it, now f**k off''.